As seen in a dog's diary : 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favourite! 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite! 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite! Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favourite! 2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite! 3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite! 4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite! 6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favourite! 7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite! 8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite! 9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite! 11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite! As seen in a cat's diary: Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction that I get from clawing their furniture. Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. I must remember to try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, that did not work according to plan .. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." I must learn what this is and how I may use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I have patience, I can wait, it is only a matter of time... Return To Top |